My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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