I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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