Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
