just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
