piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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