the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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