i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
