Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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