even my farts smell like vagina
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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