Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
