True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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