I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Randomize
