Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
