I think im going to throw up on grandma
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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