ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
