I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
