Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
