is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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