You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
