lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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