Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
