i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
