so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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