Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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