I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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