Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
