I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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