so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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