Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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