I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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