I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
