I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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