Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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