Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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