i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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