ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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