pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
