I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
