We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
