I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
