I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If that was your dad, he is hot
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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