make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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