She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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