Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
