Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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