Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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