The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
