Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
