why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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