I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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