The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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