Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
