and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
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