Why are handjobs necessary in class?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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