You smell like a Billy Joel song
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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