Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
