you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
