I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
